Between the lines of fear and blame
by Joyful nature Angsty spirit
Summary: None of them could understand it... Keith was gone.
1. Chapter 1: Matt's reaction

**Disclaimer: I don't own Voltron, that's Dreamworks' job. These characters don't belong to me. The title is from the song "how to save a life"**

Matt had been through a lot these past two years

He'd been captured by the Galra, had joined the rebellion, and been forced to fake his own death for the sake of the mission. However, despite all that Matt had always been able to hold on to his optimism, that small child-like part of himself that was always looking towards the future, believing that he could make the world a better place.

Now, hearing the deafening silence of radio static, Matt could feel that part of himself shrivel up and die. "Keith!" He called out to the boy he barely knew but who he admired 一 _had_ admired since Keith's earliest days at the garrison 一 for his perseverance and skill.

There was no answer, Keith had flown his ship into the shield.

The battle continued, ships rushing in to fill the hole Keith had left, but Matt couldn't quite comprehend it. Keith was gone, and now so was the front of Haggar's ship, destroyed by one of the rebels. Matt could hear the cheers as the bomb was deactivated, could hear Shiro congratulating Keith on a job well done.

What job? Keith was gone.

Matt cleared his throat as he heard Shiro call Keith's name again, concern at the forefront.

"Keith…?"

"Shiro…" Matt called out, suddenly feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. His tone must have held more than he bargained for because the paladins all sucked in a breath, a gasp of shock that made what Matt had to do next all the harder "Keith he's...he's…" Matt couldn't do it, even though he owed it to them, to his sister who'd already suffered so much pain at the hands of uncertainty, to Shiro, who'd always been honest with him even in the hardest of times.

He couldn't tell them Keith was gone.

Suddenly Shiro spoke out, frantic words breaking the silence between them "Matt where is Keith? What happened to him?!" Shiro's voice was shaking as badly as Matt's hands, his voice cracking on Keith's name, spilling panic over to the other paladins. Suddenly questions from the other paladins started to crowd him, overwhelming in their stampede "What happened?" "Is he hurt?" "How is he?"

"What happened?"

What happened? What had happened? How could Matt relate to them the sheer terror of watching Keith put himself on an unalterable course, unable to do anything to stop him. To see the fireball and the shield collapsing and to know that he would never see Keith again.

The questions weren't being directed at him anymore.

Shiro was calling Keith's com, terror increasing with every word as his volume increased. Then Matt heard something that broke through his inner turmoil "We're coming in, be there in two vargas…" It was Lance, cutting over Shiro's still frantic cries for Keith to just "Respond dammit!"

The com cut out and radio silence greeted him once more.

Matt sank to his knees and stared ahead, blankly, absently wondering what he should do now. Suddenly his commander's hand was on his shoulder and he was being tentatively stood up and guided into his own ship to rest.

There was a last pat on the back, and then he was alone.

He sat down, truly alone for the first time since this mess had started, and curled up in the pilot's chair collapsing in on himself like a star about to supernova, finally allowing himself to cry.

He didn't think一 _he couldn't think_ 一 as the sobbing continued caught up in his own world

The paladins could wait

 _Everything_ could wait.


	2. Chapter 2: Shiro's fear

Everything stopped for Shiro in an instant

Fighting in the arena had forced Shiro to confront his own mortality more times than he could count and Shiro had known with all likely hood that he wouldn make out out of this war alive. But somehow he could never imagine Keith wouldn't make it out, how could Keith not make it out? Keith was the survivor, the one who always had a way out, the one who _**always**_ made it out. It´s one of the reasons that Shiro had made Keith his successor, because he knew that Keith would always find a way to survive even in the toughest of times. Hed hoped that maybe some of Keith instincts for survival would rub off on the other paladins and that perhaps Keith could give them the edge they needed to stay alive during this war.

Shiro was shocked and a little disappointed when he discovered that Keith didn't cope well when Shiro was gone and that he couldn't lead the team the way that he had wanted him too. He never expected Keith to become so passive aggressive when it came to his duty as a leader and in all honesty Shiro had been glad when Black had taken him back as her paladin and hed been able to shield the other paladins from the consequences of Keiths actions.

Keith decisions to leave Voltron to help the blade of Marmora had come as a surprise, but the relief of not having to deal with the constant infighting that Keith´s actions were causing had blinded him to the role that Keith held on the team and in his own life. Keith was his rock, the person whose mere presence grounded him and reminded him of home.

It may have been anger, it may have been optimism, but now he was paying the price.

Hed hailed Keith com wanting to congratulate him, to break some of the distance that had formed during Shiro's absence and Keiths resentment of his duty, and to his surprise all that hed received in return was radio silence. He called Keith's name again, becoming more concerned as the silence persisted. Had something happened? What was wrong? Suddenly Matt spoke his name over the com his tone weighty as only those who know they bring bad news and Shiro began to panic, yelling at Matt to tell him why Keith wasn't answering, silently praying that he was wrong and that the sinking feeling in his stomach was misplaced. Suddenly the other paladins were there, sounding as afraid as him, asking a million questions and one question at the same time

What had happened?

But Matt wasn't answering and Shiro had had enough. He hailed Keith's com again and again

"Keith?"

"Keith respond"

"Keith respond _please_ "

"Just _**respond**_ dammit! **KEITH!** "

But there was no answer

Suddenly the frequency with Matt was cut off and Shiro was left screaming at nothing. Feeling like the air in his lion wasn't enough Shiro started to hyperventilate.

What had happened to Keith?

Lance was speaking, saying something about "Being in the base at the base in a few vargas" and that "Mullet is fine..." but Shiro couldn quite hear him.

It took Shiro a few minutes to realize that the other lions were moving, already far ahead of him, their paladins calling for him. He sat up slowly and tried to get his breathing under control enough that he could fly Black to the rebel base. The process went slower than he expected, and by the time he joined the other lions almost ten minutes had past.

They flew in tense silence, grim faced, until they spotted the rebel base. The urgency of the situation seemed to come over the other paladins and they all put on a boost of speed, reaching the base in record time. Lance, in the red lion, was the first to arrive and Shiro saw him jumping out of his lion the instant he touched down. Shiro landed a minute later, running inside the rebel base at top speed. He soon caught up to Lance and together made their way to the command center, the rest of the paladins behind them.

As soon as they entered the room Shiro whipped his head around calling out for Matt. Instead, one of the top generals of the rebellion was there staring at them with an unbroken blank expression "Hello paladins." she stated in a even clinical voice that did nothing to sooth Shiro's panic "Where is Keith?" Shiro called out, volume decreasing as his military training started to kick in, allowing him to tamp down on his emotions in the presence of senior officer. There was a flicker in her eyes "This is not the place for this," she intoned as she turned to Shiro and ushered him into one of the adjoining rooms.

A flare of terror and frustration engulfed Shiro's heart as he and the other paladins made their way into the room. The commander followed in after them and shut the door, allowing silence to pervade the room for a moment before Shiro turned to her and snapped "That doesn't answer my question, where is Keith? What happened?"

The commander took a deep breath and closed her eyes, the blank expression returning when she opened them. She turned to Shiro, locking eyes with him and said in the same clinical voice "We didn't have any way to deactivate the shield around the witch's ship, we were completely helpless...However, one brave soldier sacrificed himself to take down the shield…" Shiro shook his head, refusing to understand. She couldn't possibly mean… "Operative Kogane flew his ship into the shield. He sacrificed himself for the cause, I'm very sorry but he's gone."

"No…"

It was a whisper, an exhale of breath from all of the paladins, Shiro felt the word echo around the room, filled with denial and death. He said it again, a little louder, as if to make the word real to force the world to comply with it.

"NO!"

Shiro collapsed to the floor, legs refusing to support him as the reality of the situation crashed down on him.

Keith's gone, he's dead, he's never coming back.

A wail of agony escaped Shiro as he curled his back downwards, face on his knees as he shook. Tears began to fall down his face silently as the little whimpers of agony continued. Around him he could hear Hunk and Pidge sobbing and the sound of rapid foot steps revealed Lance running from the room. Allura was on the floor beside him trying to say something to him but Shiro couldn't make it out over the mantra of he'sgone _he'sgone_ _ **he'sgone**_ going through his head.

The true irony of the situation only become apparent to Shiro later

The survivor was the first one to die.


	3. Chapter 3: Lance's rage

Lance had to get out of that room.

The atmosphere of the room enveloped him, more crushing than the gravity on Naxela could ever be, and he had to leave.

Lance had had a bad feeling about this since Keith hadn't responded to Shiro over the coms. His stomach sinking into his shoes, he tried to keep a level head as the other paladins fell apart around him.

Shiro was screaming for Keith.

Lanced forced his heart and feelings down into his stomach, all of his sensation focused down onto that one point. He let the blank feeling take control so he could talk to Matt, so he could tell him to be ready because the paladins were coming.

Shiro was still hyperventilating, Lance could hear it over the coms. Lance was the _red paladin,_ the reality of the situation hit him all at once, _he_ was the one responsible for calming Shiro down and giving their leader balance and support.

He was the red paladin, yes.

But not _**Shiro's**_ red paladin.

Shiro needed Keith, had depended on Keith for _years_. Before Voltron, Lance had only ever known Shiro from afar. Shiro had been Lance's hero and one of the main reasons his rivalry with Keith existed was because of his jealousy of Keith and Shiro's close relationship.

Shiro needed Keith.

But _Keith_ needed _Lance_.

Lance was the person who balanced out Keith's recklessness and anger, a barrier against his tendency to go his own way 一 a bridge when Keith shut himself away from the rest of the team.

So Keith couldn't be gone.

He couldn't be, because if he was then Lance had failed. He tried to assure Shiro of this as well, trying to lighten the atmosphere in the lions, because why were they all upset? Keith wasn't gone.

"Mullet will be fine Shiro, he's probably just being is usual self and holding out on us. You know how he is!"

Lance tried for his typical charm. When that failed he reached for what little he knew about being the second in command. "Come on guys, let's head to rebel command."

What greeted them when they arrived was silence and news more terrible than Lance could ever had imagined.

Lance fled from the room as the others broke down, running from the force of their grief. Tears were streaming down his face but he wouldn't acknowledge them, wouldn't acknowledge what they meant.

Keith was gone.

In retrospect, he should have seen this coming.

Lance could now connect the tiny moments in the past few weeks where Keith had expressed how he really felt, what his actions towards them had meant. The loss of his smile as he was leaving, his distance toward the team and even his decision to join the Blade full time. It all made sense now.

He was isolating himself, trying to make it hurt less when he was gone.

At least there's one thing Keith's not good at, Lance thought and immediately stopped in his tracks.

Ever since he'd become the red paladin, Lance had been keeping up the banter because it seemed to calm Keith down. Really though it had been a few weeks since he'd actually thought badly of Keith. Not since Keith left for the Blade.

Now though, now he was angry.

How dare he?

How DARE Keith think he didn't matter? How DARE he sacrifice himself like that!

All of the emotions Lance had been bottling up came to the surface at once. He pulled back his fist and punched the wall, tears still falling down his face. He screamed as struck out, trying to drown out the tiny voice in his head that had started to whisper.

You failed

Failed

Failure.

Lance had failed, he hadn't been paying enough attention.

Now Keith was gone.

He curled his now bruised and throbbing fist into his chest as he let himself slide down the wall, emotions used up and heart empty.

He'd failed.


	4. Chapter 4: Lotor's arrival

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p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;" When he came within 5 dobashes of the base he hailed the rebel fleet, "Attention, Paladins of Voltron and rebel fighters. This is prince Lotor. I have come to negotiate for terms that I believe with the amicable to us both." /span/p  
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p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;"Lotor swallowed and mentally weighed the risks. On one hand having the rebels as allies would be an invaluable resource, despite the problems their distrust would pose, and he needed allies if he was to get anywhere in this war. On the other hand, if they decided that he was not worth the risk he was unsure if he could escape alive from the combined might of Voltron and the rebel fleet, even with his specially designed ship. He sighed internally, this was getting more complicated than he wanted it to— but still, he weighed it worth the risk. /span/p  
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p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
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p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
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p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;"After leaving his craft he raised his arms and was patted down aggressively for weapons by a group of rebel soldiers. He still had a few daggers and a flash grenade on him, he wanted to win their trust but he wasn't an idiot he knew that many people on this ship would rather see him dead in space before sharing their air with him, but he knew that they would not be able to detect these. The rebels stepped away, obviously angry that he had not given them an excuse to attack him, and he lowered his arms and turned toward the crowd of rebels who were now gathered around the docking bay, watching his wearily. /span/p  
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p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""Where are the paladins?" he asked, a hint of a smirk coming into his voice as a ripple of whispers swept the rebel crowd, some of the rebels even lifting their heads to glance around as if only now noticing the paladins absence. The smirk disappeared however when the crowd of rebels quieted down so they would make way for a middle aged woman to come toward him. She strode forward purposefully, wasting no time, and locked eyes with him as she did so. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""Prince Lotor," she stated, her eyes filled with the quiet confidence of a seasoned commander, continuing to walk toward him until she was just out of arm's-reach of him "If you wish to negotiate we have some conditions that must be followed before any terms can be discussed." She continued. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""I understand and will comply with any conditions you set for me. Although, I must ask…" He stated looking through the crowd once more for the now familiar shape of the signature Altean armour of the paladins. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""Where are the paladins of Voltron? It seems as though they would be instrumental in such a negotiation." He said, finally looking back at the commander who was now standing in front of him just out of arms reach. She narrowed her eyes at him and stood a litter straiter so she wasn't craning her head up to look at him. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""They are currently unavailable and will not be able to join us for negations, will you still go through with the negotiation process?" Olia stated, her eyes never leaving his, as if daring him to back down. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;"He nodded slowly and bent until they were at eye level and then dropped his eyes in a sign of submission. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""I will." He said. "I was merely curious." He said, hiding the quirk at the corner of his mouth at the defensive nature of the commander behind his hair. His face was blank as he straitened and met her eyes, suddenly serious "Shall we begin?" He asked. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""Yes, come with me." She said and motioned for him to follow her. He obeyed and fell into step behind her, rebel soldiers flanking them on either side. They moved further into the ship and Lotor took the opportunity to look at his surroundings, trying to seem as non threatening as possible. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;"There was no discussion as they moved along, not even between the guards, until they reached a hallway where a loud bang accompanied by a yell startled the group out of their silence, though the guards looked more sad then concerned so Lotor assumed this was something they had expected. They passed an off-shoot hallway and Lotor saw one of the paladins curled up on the floor, their back to the wall and their head in their hands. The Commander glared at him and he, realizing that this was most likely considered a private moment for the paladin that he was intruding on, quickly turned his eyes away from the hallway to look strait ahead. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;"They reached a room at the end of the hall and two of the rebel soldiers who had been flanking them broke off from the group to stand guard at the door. Commander Olia waved at him to open the door and let himself inside, obviously not trusting him to keep his word and not attack her if her back was turned. His smile tightened but he said nothing, not trusting himself to speak when he was sure that whatever would come out of his mouth would do nothing to endear him to his rebel hosts. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;"He entered the room and sat himself down on one of the chairs that he found inside, the general entering behind him as well as the rebel soldiers. The commander sat on the opposite side of the table from him, turned her stern eyes on him and laced her claws together on top of the table. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;"He started the conversation before she could. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; min-height: 12px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000;"span style="font-kerning: none;""So," He asked, smiling slightly "let's get started…"/span/p 


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